Day 45, September 21, 2010

One of my favorite shows is "Psych".  The show is said to take place in Santa Barbara, although it is filmed in Canada.  After watching many seasons and living only two hours away from Santa Barbara, I wished to go there.  On the 18th I finally did.

I loved it.

Beautiful.  Clean.  Loved it.

A nice surprise (at least in my opinion) was the court house.  This is a magnificent building on an entire block.  The photo shows the entrance that leads to the tower which is open to the public (for free) Monday through Saturday from 9 AM to 4:45 PM.  Loved it.

I also had moments of realizing that if I may maintain a weight loss of ten pounds a month, by the time I go to Minnesota for my son's wedding, I will be at the weight my children remember me as being as they were growing up.  That totally seems doable.

So there is a lot to feel good about.  So why does it seem like I am having to try so hard to feel good?

Yesterday, my favorite TV (had picture in picture) conked out.  Even that bummed me out a little.  What seemed like pluses however, is that this TV was a huge older Sony.  So big that it takes two people to move it...two people stronger than me.  It can't do digital, HD or hdmi.  And since it was so heavy and in my bedroom...there it has existed without being moved for years.

Here's the kicker.  As I mentioned, I loved this TV.  I loved the picture in picture.  I loved how big the screen was.  Yet barely a week prior, we had been in Costco and I was marvelling at how much I would love to buy one of the new 48" or bigger flat screen TVs for the living room.  Just couldn't justify it though because we already have too many tvs.  Voila!  Room has been made now for a new TV.

And the bonus is that I was finally able to justify having the TV moved and moving the furniture it sat upon.  And let me just say there was dust.  Dust a plenty that was removed.  And now our bedroom has been cleaned and infused with new energy.  So that is good.

What seems like I have hit is one of those stops along the way where you know where you wish to be (manifesting my divine self in the physical), but not being there yet...frustration.  Especially, since I don't feel like I know what to do next.

I need to keep my eye on the prize.  I guess if nothing else, how good am I able to feel about my destination?  How good will it feel when I finally have reached my destination?  Will it be more awesome than I even imagined?

And as I write this, perhaps my trip to Santa Barbara is the perfect metaphor.  Eleven of us were to go.  We planned this trip over a month in advance to ensure all would be able to attend.  The week before, we did some Mapquesting to ensure we would get there without being lost.  Although, technically we already knew we could simply follow the Pacific Coast Highway signs and reach our destination.  The day of the trip, everyone cancelled.  So thank you times a million to my man, Manny, who went with me anyway.  Once we were there, there were plenty of maps and information booths, etc. to ensure we would have an excellent time.  And yes, it was even more beautiful, clean and wonderful than I expected in my mind.

Two other things helping me keep going: this blog and my "keep dreaming until your dreams come true" sign I made and placed in my home.

Tomorrow is the equinox and a full moon.  I am sharing the video below, because while part of me has this particular vision of what I feel would be a lovely co-creation, another part feels merging with my Higher Self and being this in physical manifestation is more what I really came here to do.  And the video helps me remind myself of this.  And I am very appreciative because currently I feel like I am in great need of this support.  So thank you, thank you, thank you to all for the support to help keep me on track.

Day 40, Thursday, September 16, 2010

On Tuesday (9/14), I read Mr. Losier's book, Law of Attraction.  After being introduced to "The Secret" and playing with consciously and deliberately seeking to master the Law of Attraction in my life, I found his book quite refreshing and helpful.

Belief/Opinion seems to have so much to do with it all.  Truth for me is I don't feel like I would have felt this way about his book three years ago (assuming I'd read it then). 

Anyway, one of the things he mentions is to start a journal, a sort of proof diary, that helps you affirm that what it is you are seeking to attract deliberately through the conscious use of and eventual mastery of the Law of Attraction.  In the journal you write things that happen in your physical experience that seem to correspond to what you are asking for with the deliberate use of the law.

So, I found it interesting that I had been thinking about how one day this week (and most likely yesterday) I would love to make sure I return to Griffith Park to walk the trail  I had intended on going Sunday and in fact, I did go on Sunday.  Denied!  They closed down the park for some event.

Now in the past I would have spent much time debating on what sort of message this meant that when I wanted to walk the trail on Sunday, I couldn't because I was denied.  Most of the musings would revolve around the theme of being wrong or being punished or something like that.  So, if there was a gift for me it was that the park was closed.  And even though I didn't walk the trail, I did get out of the house and ended up buying some great food to bring home that I probably wouldn't have otherwise.

Anyway, Tuesday I received a call from the Children's Hospital in L.A. to please come in and donate platelets...Wednesday if I could.  Well, the Children's Hospital is on Vermont and Sunset.  Vermont is the same street (if you continue travelling north on it from Sunset for a couple of miles) that takes you to the Griffith Park Observatory and where I start the hiking trail.  Well, there you go. 

If I am going to donate platelets and be that close to Griffith Park, of course, I will go to Griffith Park after and walk the trail.

Here was a sort of freaky proof thing.  As I was donating platelets and happily watching a movie I knew would keep me in a joyful place, after about an hour and a half I start to get antsy.  Not wanting to be a pain, I figured for sure I should be done by 1 PM (in about 20 mintues).  At about five mintues to one, the machine starting beeping.  The attendant came to check on me, as the machine usually beeps only if it detects some sort of problem.  Well, I felt fine and so we continued.  However, at 1 PM the machine beeped and my place where they had inserted the needle was starting to hurt.  So, they cut the rest of the donation short.  I would have had another 20 minutes because apparently they always try to get a double batch from me.

Now technically, (and probably for legal reasons) they give you a sheet explaining that one should not do anything strenuous the rest of the day after donating platelets.  This almost had me thinking perhaps I shouldn't go to Griffith Park to walk the trail.  Then part of my mind told me that I felt fine and how strenuous is walking...really?  Of course, I suppose for some walking could be very strenuous.  However, I'd like to think for me this is not the case.  So, I went.

I did have a reason I wished to go to Griffith Park to hike the trail up to the top of Mt. Hollywood.  Let's see...today was my day 17 for my wii fit.  On day 1 when to calibrate, etc. the balance board weighs you and does whatever, I weighed 217 pounds. 

I will write more about the seeming horror of weighing 217 pounds at a later date.  Heck!  I may even write a book about it 'cuz I know I will get back to my average weight from my twenties and thirties of about 135 before the end of April, 2011.

Anyway, I love, love, love the wii fit.  I love how it makes exercising a bit more enjoyable because it seems more like a game then doing something because you hate how your body looks and weighs and so you feel you need to punish it with something you hate, exercise.

The wii fit has this thing where you can walk/jog/run (actually it is more like marching in place for me) around this island on this trail for 10 minutes/20 minutes/30 minutes at a time depending on what you choose.  It is amazing how quickly I was able to get back into some sort of routine with this that felt good to me.  It almost seemed a little too good though.  And so I wanted to see how I would compare feeling by actually walking up hill on the Griffith Park hiking trail. 

My experience seemed to be brutal.  I felt very winded.  At one point I stopped just to sort of catch my breath.  And even though the top of the trail is not much more than a 100 extra yards from Dantes' Lookout area, I stopped there, as well.  Actually, much of the trail is right out in the open in the hot sun and Dantes' has a nice tree grouping and there was a breeze sitting there. 

A little bonus of spending some time there is that you get to see the butterflies and the lizards and the birds and the bugs all doing there thing.  When I did get to the top of Mt. Hollywood, there were more butterflies...beautiful butterflies.  And the view!  The view is breathtaking.  This particular day there were clouds over the ocean.  Low clouds.  I always find it sort of ethereal to feel like I am above clouds looking down on them. 

When I reached the top, I was the only one there.  After a couple of mintues a gentleman joined me.  He started a conversation with me.  First about the weather and then about politics.  Who would I vote for: Meg Whitman or Jerry Brown?  I'd been leaning toward Meg, but this person made some good points about what Jerry Brown might be able to do.

It wasn't long before another guy joined in on our politic conversation.  This person's mom was Buddhist and raised him that way.  Still, I was a little surprised at some of his views.  And yet, when push comes to shove...if I seek to be more my Divine Self in every moment...each belief...each view has merit.  Yes?  Who am I to say my take on how things are is any better or worse than anyone elses?

He mentioned checking out a website, www.ted.com.  And I don't know about any of you reading this, but this guy had on very, very dark sunglasses.  I'm not really sure what I had expected about his eyes, but at one point he lifted his sunglasses and he had the most amazing blue, seriously, piercing blue eyes.  My youngest son has amazing blue eyes that people comment on a lot.  This mans eyes were even more blue and piercing than my son's.  (FYI, I write this as much for my wanting to remember as to share).

Now I'd been meditating and had let it slide.  I guess if I wanted to take one thing from this chance meeting (he was dreaming me and I was dreaming him), it was his suggestion of not letting meditation slide.  Twenty minutes in the morning and twenty minutes at night for the next fourteen days.  If I would take up this "gauntlet", he was sure I would then desire to continue with meditating after the fourteen days.  So...we'll see.

Here's the last thing I wish to remember/share.  I was in my pj's later that night watching a little TV and wishing I had something sweet to eat...how much I'd love a little nosh.  For I would think fairly obvious reasons, I didn't have any sweets in my home (not to mention my boyfriend just doesn't do sweets as they don't do anything for him).  Yet about an hour later I heard someone calling my name from outside my bedroom window.  It was one of our niece's.  Knowing how much I love cake, she had brought me a slice from her son's low-key birthday celebration.  Not just any cake, but ice cream cake.  Yum!  My favorite.

I love the way the Universe is continuously blessing me in such divine and wonderful ways.

Can you feel it? 

Day 37, Monday, September 13, 2010

One of the things I have sometimes done and then wondered why my life doesn't change much is reading a book but not really taking the time to practice (and give it a chance) what is suggested in the book.

Anyway, there is a gal born in Santa Barbara, spent much time in Europe (she has a sort of french accent) and is now living in Chicago...living the Juicy life.  She does these videos on YouTube I have been following.  Her most recent video talks about a book, Law of Attraction, by Michael J. Losier, that tells you how to use the Law of Attraction by doing these lists.  And Lilou Mace actually sat down with one of her trusted friends and made the lists.

Good for her.  And I love one of the insights she shares about practicing this list making in the video below.  I hope you enjoy the video.

Beginning of Week 6, September 12, 2010

Yo!

What should I write today?

I really simply wish to include the below video from Abraham Hicks about the year 2012.

Today is considered International Angel Day according to Doreen Virtue.  I love watching her daily oracle card videos.  It makes me feel sort of like all the angelic kingdom is cheering me on.  And I love that today's card is "Believe and Trust".  Archangel Michael, please enter my dreams and remove fear.  Trust the messages that come through.  Trust the ideas that come to my heart.

I have been doing the decrees and declarations every day (to see them visit my blog post from Day 25, God Bless You).  I have been loving that I am doing them first with myself in mind, then rereading them with my boyfriend in mind (I change the "I" as I read to his name) and then I read them and change the "I" to "Every Child of God".

In the process, I am noticing how much I actually during the course of the day tend to see other children of God as being less than the Divine Truth of who they are (just as I do with me and my boyfriend).  What will my life be like when I ONLY see them as being equal to their Divine Truth (and me and my boyfriend)?

And I love as I have been pondering these thoughts that in a way I know it will be awesome and amazing for me in my life when I arrive at this "ONLY" place...yet there appears to be no hurry about it.  I am at peace with simply allowing myself to make these decrees and declarations once a day and letting the power of their vibration change my consciousness one step at a time (so to speak), especially considering that even though this is already the beginning of week 6, I still have about ten more weeks to go before I finish with this particular Divine Focus Journey.

I love what Abraham Hicks says about this being an expanding experience.

Here's today's quote from their website:
     "Genius.  It is just attention to something specific.  That's all it is.  LAW OF ATTRACTION makes it happen, and so anyone who gives attention to any subject for a period of time will evolve in the direction of that understanding."

In my opinion what Ms. Hicks mentions is pretty much like saying as long as I keep my vision focused on Divine Truth (which includes joy, love and appreciation...blessings) the sky is the limit for the blessings which may and will be experienced on this glorious planet hand-in-hand with beloved Mother Earth.

Speaking of which, I take this moment to connect my heart with the heart of Mother Earth and send her some love and appreciation for all the ways she allows us to experience spirit in form by being in her presence.  I love you, Mother Earth.

Double speaking of which, I take this next moment to connect my heart with the heart of all who end up reading my blog.  For in Truth there is no space or time.  So when you connect with this, you connect with me and then we are sharing each others presence.  So I thank you for sharing with me.  I feel blessed and honored to share your presence.  I love you.

Here's the Abraham Hicks video:

Day 34, Think Thoughts That Feel Great Friday, September 10, 2010

So...

So...where do I begin?

So...I love my life.  I love my life.  Really, I love my life.

That's right...think it until you really feel it.  Don't look out at what is going on in the physical and decide you can't believe this is true.  Say it like you really mean it and this is the truth of your life every magnificent present moment.

Get funky with it!  Really make it work for you.  Become so present with feeling that you love your life that you actually feel the energy of it radiating from every molecule of your being.

Everyone has this power.  Anyone may do it.  The power to choose love and express it...really feel it...without seeming conditions.

I find something that really gets me in this place of letting go and really getting into the feeling of feeling great (and I chose great for a reason...that's because I agree with Rhonda Byrne in her book, "The Power", which is something along the lines of good/okay really isn't good enough...if we knew how amazing we could feel in every moment...we'd never settle for good)...anyway, listening to songs with blues guitar.  I know that sounds like a paradox, but there is something about a song with some great blues guitar in it that really moves through me and makes me feel almost giddy with delight.

I am going to share some brutal honesty with all of you right now.  I say that I AM an Advanced Clear Light Practitioner.  This is basically true.  I have taken the classes.  I have practiced and completed the internship.  And I have to say that Clear Light energy really kicked my butt and caused me to look at some things in my life and sort of forced me to let them go or else keep on feeling something that isn't in line with divine love/clear light energy.  And as an advanced practitioner, I am able to teach the process and create other clear light practitioners.

Still...I haven't had one paying client.  I know part of it is because we are to stick to charging/requesting an energetic investment of at least $75/session.  And I have been having a hard time justifying someone paying $75 for 45 minutes of clear light energy transmission from me.  In other words, how may I answer your question "What is so great about clear light energy that I should be willing to give you $75 in exchange for a session?"  I just felt like I didn't have a good enough answer.  Here's sort of the kicker, what I was willing to pay to learn it.  Although in all fairness to me, I was willing to pay what I paid because it wasn't so much about receiving a session of clear light energy to benefit me in some way, it was more about an investment in a career choice.  Being a "Light Worker" as we are sometimes called seems like my calling.  And as much as I feel like it isn't, it is the one thing I am passionate about.

Then yesterday it popped in my mind the benefit of clear light energy.  Before I get into it, I want to further explain my feeling about a session, benefits and my current philosophy about all of the "light worker" stuff.

More and more I truly believe that ultimately I am not really able to "make" you feel better, although I certainly can play the illusion game that this is so.  Knowing this truth, further shackles my sense of fair play when it comes to clear light energy sessions because I believe a Master doesn't do "it" for someone else...a Master teaches another how to do it for them self.  You know, I don't fish for you, I show you how to fish so you will forever be able to feed your self.

I do truly believe that if you came to me as a client, I could help you feel better (which I believe if you synthesize down pretty much any reason for visiting someone in this sort of capacity or even when you visit a Doctor because you have some perceived dis-ease, it is because you know you could feel better and you desire to feel better and you want help with this).  Not to mention that someone else is usally much more detached about whatever it is you feel may be your "dis-ease" (whether physical, mental, emotional or spiritual) and thus, even if you truly have the capacity (which you do) to "heal" your self and make your self feel better, SomeONE ELSE may be more equipped in a given moment to help you see the forest for the trees...if you know what I mean.

Maybe I need to let go of deciding what a client will do with the energy transmission and simply be the conduit.  After all, when a person cleans them self as they take a shower, the pipe that delivers the water doesn't get involved with how the water is used that comes out of the pipe.  It simply delivers.  Yet, I truly wish to help and feel like I have helped my clients.  Go figure!

Here's the thought I had yesterday that more or less popped in my mind from Mother/Father God only knows where: "Clear Light Energy Transmissions/Sessions plant a seed in the recipient."  Sort of like everything needed for the mighty oak to grow and flourish is included in the acorn and it is the future pull of the mighty oak that compels the acorn to become the oak...well, receiving transmissions of clear light energy is like reminding your being of what it feels like to be in harmony with its divine potential.  And the more you receive these transmissions, the more your being craves to harmonize with this energy compelling you to no longer pay "attention" to anything of a disharmonious frequency.

As I embark on this journney of divine focus, I am equipped to help others (sort of like a tour guide) to not only transmit clear light energy but offer other tips to help clients navigate their own divine journey.  This obviously isn't for everyone...not everyone is ready for this journey.  Still, there are those who are.  If you have found your way to this blog, chances are you are one of them.  I'd love to hear from you.  (Of course, I will expect $75 investment from you for a session, but it will be worth it.)  Each of us is blessed.  Each of us has money for things we truly desire to have.  Become one with the investment and one with the session...desire it with your heart and soul...the money will show.

In the meantime, I continue to declare and decree the blessings I wrote and shared earlier.  May Mother/Father God (and Mother Earth without who we would not be able to experience physical manifestation the way we do on Earth) Bless you beyond your wildest imaginings every day in every way.  God Bless You, My Brother and Sister Children of Divine Love Intelligence.

So be it.  So it is!

Day 32, Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Still committed to this journey.

Only other thing I wish to share is desire.  Desire as something that wells up in us as what we would love to be, do or have in our life.  I desire this.  I didn't realize how much, but I do.  It appears it is that sort of desire that will assure this journey unfolds perfectly and successfully.

Keep dreamin' until your dreams come true.

Whoo hoo!

Thermometer, Day 29, Sunday, September 5, 2010

So, another day in paradise? 

Last night I had a little incident and this morning I knew things could be a little unsettling on the home front.  As I was in bed pondering getting up, I was thinking about all of this and realizing I can be the thermometer.  By this I mean I have set my thermostat to divine, blessed and love.  If things seem to dip to something less than that then as quickly as possible my thermostat kicks in.  My HVAC sets in motion what it needs to do energetically to bring me back to feeling divine, blessed and love.  This isn't normally how I might have "played" this game of life.  It's how I desire to play it now.

Ms. Byrne, in her book "The Power" has a section where she mentions she thinks of our brother and sister children of God as PETs, Personal Emotional Trainers.  As much as I am not happy for a blip in the road with an unsettling situation, I may be happy that it allows me the ability to practice my mastery and see just how committed I am to my journey.

And with that I will continue on in paradise today seeking to feel as divine, loved and blessed as I am able to be conscious to be in every given, glorious moment of now.  Every moment I have the choice to feel any feeling I desire and I am not obligated (as much as collective consciousness might wish for me to feel otherwise) to feel anything I do not desire to feel.

May the blessings be.